Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai!

I feel very conflicted about this series, more than just the comedic rom-com that all of its genres seemingly is mashed together to create a lookalike Takagi/Nagatoro-san, but with slice-of-life-ish ecchi that is boisteringly over the top baseless and full of cringe. With that said, this review is gonna be SUGOI DEKAI to the max, and I don't freaking care, because love it or hate it, Uzaki-chan TRULY wants to hang out to the extreme, and her "Annoying! Cute! But Annoying!" persona to the manga of the same name that mangaka Take depicts her of, call it NSFW, SJW or other fap tags you'd thinkof, and that is all fine by me. The girl-teases-boy SoL trolling formula is nothing new, especially if you're VERY inclined into well-known mangaka Souichirou Yamamoto's "Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san" (the masterpiece standard) or 774's "Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san" (which is said to be the most extreme form of the formula, teasing through bullying). In the case of Take, instead of just the school setting of "same class hopefuls of one day becoming a couple" cliche, he takes it one step further in creating the Senpai-Kouhai (senior-junior) and adds the ecchi taste to it, making it seem like in full-on preparation for the "dirty jokes abound" as the comedic effect plays it with varying levels of confidence to pull constant stunts off in questioning. More importantly, for stories like these to not have a central plot, it depends heavily on the characters to deal with the brunt of the figures, and it's the main characters: the annoying and heartful Hana Uzaki and lone wolf Shinichi Sakurai, that has to hit off well from the get-go. First, let's talk about the Kouhai that's one of the most discussed about this Summer: 2nd year college student Hana Uzaki. A short, petit girl with big, STACKED boobs (that screams SUGOI DEKAI!), she is the immersive extroverted kind and would be akin to the typical, most annoying person you'd met in your lifetime (and won't go away even with heavy convincing), and that's because she is made that way. If you'd give her enough attention, she can be very heartwarming to the friendship touch, but still yet has a composure that doesn't fall WAY OFF to the romance spectrum to keep even the lamest of "sexual harassment" trolls and jokes incoming. She is "Dumb and Dumber", but in the most flattering way possible that I can still find some enjoyment to be had, true to honest. But she can't be a one-trick pony, OH NO, without the help of the "I want to be alone" moniker that is 3rd year Senpai Shinichi Sakurai. He is the typical average character that most of us all have been once in our lives, only that he has big muscles to boot and a heart of gold...at least for cats anyway. From the beginning, his constant deflection against Uzaki uncoincidentally pursues her interest to delve into his life even deeper, not knowing of the consequences of having such an annoying brat chasing after his ass. Hey Sakurai, you're already a damn lucky pervert to have a girl chasing you down, so why can't you acknowledge it, huh? But the charm grows on you once Uzaki knows slowly of Sakurai's unchanging habits, and the decrease in safe-distancing against her and slowly accepting her whims into his life, be it rain or shine. If I have to be very honest, the Uzaki-Sakurai duo is one of the more understandable "comedic" duos once you'd get to know them better, and how they compliment their own strengths and weaknesses towards each other, not in the mindset of a couple, but of soulmates not randomly strewn together like a "red thread of fate", makes them more appealing for a unique charm of character growth and development that's complementary to the overall series. Sakurai transforms from a stereotypical person to one that's being influenced, and Uzaki in return, can reciprocate to his needs that might not put a smile on his face, but definitely a reassurance of the heart, an anthem of the heart if you oh-so-will infer. From simple things like college homework to just plainly hanging out together for meals or working together, it speaks volumes of the manga's narrative and ambitions (and also why it went popular in the first place). Of course, without some bootlicking of the Uzaki-Sakurai "romantic" duo, how can this show afford to be more enjoyable? Introducing the side characters: Ami Asai and her dad Akihiko (commonly referred to as The Master) at the cafe that Sakurai works in, and his best bud of a ladies' man, Sakaki Itsuhito. Ami is on a Senpai level against both Uzaki and Sakurai, and her fetish for muscles only works as an imaginary "touch" of Sakurai, and of course, the Master himself, is a wise man of confidence. But deep down, the father-daughter duo are matchless when it comes to Sakurai and his job, and thereafter when Uzaki's interference of the lame man poses a bigger opportunity to work together with him, ensuring that both Ami and her dad get tons of "stalker" enjoyment watching them from afar, all for some whisk of romantic progression to munch on imaginatively. Sakaki on the other hand, enjoys his time being popular with the ladies, but the finest moment of his life is joining forces with Ami (though their disagreement in the beginning wenches each other's favour to the betterment of how they should view the comedic duo). And HELL NO, how could I forget about the mother figure of Tsuki Uzaki, certainly I'd expect the "like mother, like daughter" cliche to throw up its punchline? Scary... OH, AND THAT KUSO CAT that is symbolic for manga readers, and now with the anime with it appearing at scenes of highly sexualized favours of romance *muack* (and anywhere where "appropriate"), plus the Uzaki house of cats which have SOOO many misunderstandings of "petting". Leave the sexual tension to yourself, mate. This is the 2nd work of Kadokawa's new subsidiary studio ENGI (the first being the subpar adaptation of KonoSuba's novelist's work on Hataage! Kemono Michi), and comparing against the 2, whatever that is viewed of the former series can be applied here without a doubt. The same lack of soft art and "less is more" animation is a serious drab to look at, even with the use of CGI in the OP. But regardless, the job of the production team is to get one thing done right: getting on par with the manga visuals, and I can say that while it's not amazing, it gets the job done at least without looking bad (or should I say, it's so bad it's good). Again, nothing impressive in the sound department, but it sure is as hell as boring if there ain't some comedic BGM to follow up through the constant nitpicking and tension of the characters, to which I appreciate really having it there, even if it's to showcase the "background audience laugh" that was once a chore, to which it grows as time passes. The OP between Kano and Uzaki-chan's VA is a love-hate relationship that I'd thought was thought-provoking, but also, the passing of time shows its fruits of labour, and gives off a good vibe that I can't stop ringing my ears to the song's influence. Don't know much about YuNi's lineup of songs, but the ED is comforting enough to end the episodes on a kind note. Overall, this is a show that will definitely turn off the heads of the normal otaku to even regular anime-onlys for doing a disservice on its plot which is just full-on horny and sexualized favours looking for the main couple to get laid on. But give it a second chance to see from another view, and you might just have been converted from an elitist hater to a best lover. Once again, a disclaimer, it's not for everyone, but only to the faithful of sarcastic narcissists who can find an inch or 2 of this gem to like about and proclaim its genuine greatness.

[TLDR at the bottom] Look at the poster for this anime. You see that thing? That sad excuse of a character design? Those giant fucking eyes with that stupid fucking hair with that obviously pandering skin fang? Those stupidly massive tits that take up half of her body mass? Just one look at this anime version of a skin gremlin is enough to tell you about her entire personality. Just as she looks like a monster, she acts like a monster. Constantly annoying people that are just minding their own business. Constantly trying to grab someone's attention. Constantly laughing in your face at your expense. Constantlytrying to make this about herself without giving any care to anyone around her. She isn't just a character. She is the embodiment of all things evil in the world. Well, maybe it's not that bad. After all, she seems to only acknowledge one person in this entire anime. Except that he sucks too. If I were to direct your attention to the poster, you would see that this is a guy you can find in any other anime. Completely boring and unremarkable character design. Except this time he yells. And gets angry. Do you like angry people? I don't. But this guy's anger stems from Uzaki herself. Which is completely and utterly understandable. If only he cut ties with her for the rest of his life. But no. This motherfucker has the gall to fall in love with that thing (even if he doesn't know it in typical rom-com fashion). Do you see the psychological manipulation this girl is doing? After constantly harassing this man who is just trying to mind his own business she ropes him into romantically tense moments. There is no chemistry here. They don't seem genuinely happy being with each other. One harasses another. The other can only get angry but for some reason lets this shit happen over and over again. I'm being overly dramatic here. It's not something to get that angry about. It's worse. It's boring. It's the worst combination of being both anger-inducing and being the same sleep-inducing rom-com shit every episode. This anime does nothing new for the genre. Misunderstandings that get dragged on and on for the entire episode. Side characters whose entire personality is wanting the main two to get together for fun (which might work if I actually wanted these two to get together). Giant tits that keep accidentally being grabbed. Characters that comment on how big the fucking tits are. Did I mention how fucking big these tiddies are? Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if there was good fanservice here, but believe me I was flaccid watching this entire season. The art here is pretty bad. For some reason there is very little contrast here. A lot of the scenes I see are dominated by gray and brown colors. And as far as the music department is concerned, I can't recall a single track. But the opening annoys the shit out of me. [TLDR] Actually. Watch the opening of this anime. Because that embodies this entire show. If for whatever reason you like the opening or Uzaki's character design, you'd probably like this anime. But for someone who wanted to curb-stomp the main character since the beginning, this was the first anime I've given a 1/10.

I’d like to consider myself an observer rather than an active participant in the pernicious social media discourse that’ll orbit a show like this on principle. People fascinate me, truly, because in the midst of what has been the most challenging and bizarre year in our contemporary human history, we can still find the mental vacancy to compartmentalize all of that bullshit and draw our ire towards the REAL issues...the Tid. Or more specifically, the 2D Tid, you know, like the kind you can’t feel? But I guess to properly enjoy a show like “Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai!”, you need A LOT of mental vacancy. I’mnot going to pay much heed to any of the facile rhetoric lobbed towards this anime, because quite frankly, I don’t give a shit one way or the other. Unless a show is deliberately trying to ram a narrative down my esophagus, it takes a lot for me to roll up my sleeves and polish my ivory sword, even more so if that show is a fucking cartoon. Uzaki-chan is one of those rare instances where I was already fairly well-acquainted with the source material and author before having watched its adaptation. While half of the Uzaki stanbase at large was drying on their parents’ mattresses, I was already hip to this shit (another notch on my anime hipster belt). I have to hand it to Take (the mangaka) though, the man’s a genius. Whether it’s rabid affection or vehement disgust, Uzaki’s viral marketing potential speaks for itself. This obstreperous oblong drove stakes through my eardrums and burned herself into my corneas well before her anime was announced. That’s due in part to Take’s distinct...idiosyncrasies as an artist. Take made a name for himself as a decently popular doujin artist before making the eventual transition to serialization. I follow quite a number of independent artists myself because more often than not, independent artists don’t have to worry about time crunches and have far more freedom to work at a pace that will produce the absolute best result. That said, I can’t say Take’s particularities really measure up to the best of them. He’s not exactly punching under his weight, he has his niche, clearly, and I can respect that. I mean, who else can we turn to when we’re craving malformed prenatal pagan ritual eldritch moeblobs like Uzaki? I mean look at this snaggle-toothed, bobble-headed, big-eyed, monstrosity of a character design. She looks like a jack-o-lantern carved by Ray Charles with that gaping half-moon watermelon mouth and skin-sheath covering her fang. What does she even need that thing for? Will she get tetanus if that thing scrapes against her bottom lip? As a virile young 20-something like myself, I have to admit, breasts are indeed tantalizing. There’s nothing wrong with watching this show purely for the proverbial “eye-candy” if ecchi anime do it for you, but what good is enjoying a piece of eye-candy if you’re just sucking on it with the wrapper still on? The boobs are a gimmick, clearly, but they don’t really do all that much with them. They’re just kind of there to throw darts at as an easy punchline when it behooves the script to do so. My point being, if you’re going to draw a character like this in a transparent attempt to exploit her design, why pair down the fanservice? We’re living in an era where “Ishuzoku Reviewers” masterfully broke every single rule that an ecchi should and could. When I watch a show like Uzaki-chan proudly whore their mascot out on the corner with 7 layers of thick sweaters and winter boots on the half-hearted promise of the occasional flaccid skirt lift, I can’t help but feel cheated. Uzaki-chan is about as sexy as a stubbed toe (and twice as bulbous). You could make the argument that Uzaki as well as the whole of the Uzaki clan at large are “just drawn that way”, but that’s woeful ignorance. This is a series spearheaded by someone who cut their teeth drawing “paizuri” comics for a living. Uzaki’s “Sugoi Dekai” t-shirt is this generation’s “Mega Milk” except not nearly as fun, if you know what I mean by that. This anime lacks the sex-appeal to get away with designing a character like this for any good reason other than to just bounce your eyes from any given corner of the screen like a game of ping-pong. It’s nigh impossible to have a discussion about this anime that doesn’t ultimately circle back to this little shit’s design. It’s fundamentally baked into the spine that supports the bosom of this show’s trademark. But why dwell on this for as long as I have? Because there’d be fuck-all to talk about otherwise. Uzaki is just one half of a brilliant Manzai duo, and believe it or not, her partner in crime, one Shinichi Sakurai, almost annoys me as much as his...heh...“titular” co-lead. Shinichi is such a transparent case of pandering wish-fulfillment that it’s impossible to buy him as the role he wishes to inhabit. Through no fault of his own (because of his “mean face”), he’s a loner but he just so happens to be conventionally attractive in every conceivable way. He’s tall, muscular, young, and has sharp eyes which puts him in the top 5% of all knuckle-draggers roaming the land and planting their seeds. He’s such a failure of a loner that his only real problem in life is that he’s drowning in tits at any given hour of the day, oh woe is him. The mean-eyed gag is used so sparingly that it makes it even harder to believe that this man has much difficulty with ANYTHING because of his face. Uzaki-chan’s endgame as a story (besides the boilerplate slice of life hijinks) is to have Uzaki facilitate Shinichi’s social competency. There is absolutely nothing wrong with living a solitary lifestyle if that’s your preference, but Uzaki-chan has absolutely no idea how to broach this topic in a clever or didactic way. It’s perfectly content with taking a flippantly dismissive stance against people who choose to do so. I don’t know about you, but if I were a character like Shinichi being pestered by some manic pixie dream goblin, that would make me even MORE of a recluse. Uzaki-chan reads to me as an unrefined amateurish work conceived by someone who knows how to sell their manga but with only a tenuous grasp of what to actually do with it. Anything that gives this show a sense of identity is effectively dismantled by and cherry-picked from other properties that rock it better. Why watch this show for the T&A if there are any number of functionally better cartoons to get your rocks off to? Why watch this show for the character dynamic when you can watch or read Takagi-san or Nagatoro-san that do far more interesting things than just “BAHAHAHAHAHAH SENPAI!!!” ? Why watch this show for the high-pitched squealing and sleep-paralysis gremlins when Keeping Up With the Kardashians is 19 seasons deep, dog? Suffice to say, anime is perhaps the most renewable resource on the planet. There’s a school of thought not just among anime fans but with people who regularly consume media whose core tenet is to defend mediocrity because originality is overrated and doesn’t always pay off so we may as well just accept recycled tried and true formulas as long as they are competently executed. “Uzaki-chan wa Asobitai!” isn’t just mediocre, it’s AGGRESSIVELY mediocre. This show isn’t bad enough to knock a few back with a group of friends and enjoy with tempered irony. But it’s not good enough to recommend in any capacity. We all know why people bother with giving this show the time of day, it’s in the title of the damn thing, but hey, I’m not one to point at and laugh at one’s proclivities (as vexing as this one in particular may be). But come on guys, you can do SO much better. Your time on this earth is finite my friends, don’t waste it on shit like this just to prove how “red-pilled” you are, nobody’s impressed. I do it so you don’t have to.

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