Koukou Tekken-den Tough

There are few things quite like professional wrestling. It combines the athleticism of a sport with larger than life drama. It also tends to get silly and sometimes just plain weird. Many people look down on it, so it's up to passionate fans to stick up for why it's great! Enter Tetsuya Saruwatari! This is the man who wrote Dog Soldier and Riki Oh: The Story of Ricky. He is currently 61 years old and never once stopped being a teenager. This is a man who knows NOTHING about subtlety or pulling punches, and I love him for it! In the early 2000s, he decided tocreate a manga and 3 episode OVA called "Shoot-fighter Tekken" to try show anime fans how badass Pro-wrestling is! BTW, a "shoot fight" is an industry term for a match the goes off script and becomes an actual brawl. In reality, these are quite rare. I'm proud to say though that I live only 30 minutes away from the shitty high school gym where professional psychopath New Jack decided to hospitalize his 70 year old opponent because... New Jack. In the world of Shoot-fighter Tekken, pro wrestlers pretend that wrestling is fake, but that's only a cover! When the cameras turn off, they participate in underground death matches and are the best fighters in the world! The only martial art that can stand up Pro-Wrestling? Ninjutsu! The heavyweight champion of a Japanese promotion fights a ninja to a draw and years later wants a rematch. However, the ninja wants his son Kiichi to fight and pass the torch to the next generation. In order to prove himself and take on the wrestling champ, Kiichi must get through 2 deadly opponents! The first is a wrestler who got in trouble for killing his opponents. The 2nd is a guy who practiced Jujitsu so much that he gained psychic powers. Yeah...in Shoot-fighter it's explained that all psychic powers are just the biproduct of intense jujitsu training. Did you think the government experiments gave Tetsuo his powers?! Nah dog! He just took jujitsu because he was tired of Kaneda's shit! Remember the psychic girl in the wheelchair from Elfen Lied? She's only in the wheelchair because her legs got tired from doing too much jujitsu! Kiichi's dad is a ninja that has techniques that rape the laws of physics, but this kid is unimpressed! Instead he decides to find an old wrestler to train him, who also happens to be the world's greatest assassin! Fuck Duke Togo! Fuck Kurosensei! The world's greatest assassin is Macho Man Randy Savage! OHHH YEEEEAAHH! Get in the garbage can Duke, because comparatively speaking to the Macho Man, you are nothing but garbage! (watches teleportation) Kiichi: "Lame!" (watches shadow clone technique) Kiichi: "Yawn" (watches the Bexploder) Kiishi: "Is it possible to learn this power!?" I don't want to spoil the ending, because this is only 3 episodes and the stupidity is well worth checking out! I gave this a 5/10 because I didn't know whether to give it a 1/10 or a 10/10. Shootfighter Tekken belongs in the hall of fame for "So bad it's good" anime! This is right up there with such legends as Mad Bull 34, Angel Cop, Plastic Little, and Garzey's Wing. Even if you hate pro wrestling, this anime is SO stupid it becomes essential viewing!

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